The Many Little Details.

Hi, how ya doin'? Been a while hasn't it? Let's catch up:

• I went back to Minnesota for a quick three day hunting trip with my brother. It was great! And I got to have my mom's custom-made waffles and give my dad crap. How could it be better?
• I've been working a day job. It involves some customer service. I have learned I don't like telling people "I don't know." Unfortunately, that's often the only answer I have.
• One of my fellow actors here in town lives in Westwood, where he pays a fortune for his apartment. I asked what he liked about it. He said "It's convenient, I can jump right on the 405." I don't see how immediate access to the 8-lane parking lot we locals call the 405 is convenient. But hey, I live in the Valley
• I'll say one thing about Westwood: if you want to snog on college chicks, it's convenient. Or so I am told.
• Speaking of snogging, I was parked outside the residence of Ms. Sega Dreamcast and some jackass side-swiped my car. Just enough to scratch the finish.
• The first week I was in L.A., I stopped at the liquor store (How provincial of me! Now I go to the grocery store to buy booze.) and some lady opened her car door just as I was pulling into the spot next to hers. Not enough to damage her car, just enough to dent my bumper.
• L.A. is hard on cars.
• There are some things you can get at the Dollar Store that are just as good as any place else.
• There are some things you can get at the Dollar Store that cost a dollar any place else.
• My apartment is cluttered. In fact, the municipal council for Valley Village put a proposition on the 2008 ballot to rename the 1200 square feet I rent "Clutter City, CA" If I get my own zip code, I'm cool with that.
• A friend from MN emailed me asking how much money a fella should have before he uproots himself and moves to LA. I told him $5 grand if he had a job lined up ahead of time, $10 grand if he was planning to get one right away. I never heard from him again.
• I was on the phone with a telemarketer while I was typing that last item. She never missed a beat in her standard speech and I never missed one in mine: "That sounds like a great deal but I'm not interested and I really don't have time to review the materials you want to send me."
• I had an audition last month for a Bud Light spot. I made callbacks and got put on "avail". That means I was one of their top four choices.
• Those keen readers who remember bullet point number 2 will deftly conclude I did not get the part. But if you see a beer commercial where a guy gets his Bud Light stolen by his neighbor who tunnels like the gopher from Caddyshack, I encourage you to join me in jumping up and down and yelling at the TV: "THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME!!!"
• Man, if I'm going to write jokes I need to shorten my sentences.
• At said callback for Bud Light, I broke the broom they were using as a prop shovel.
• Seriously. I smashed the shit out of that thing. I was beating it on the floor and a big knife-shaped chunk splintered off. And I went first.
• After I left the audition I felt really guilty, and even thought about buying a replacement broom at Home Depot. But there's no Home Depot in West Hollywood.
• I drove one block, turned the corner and there was a lawn and garden center in front of me. I figured, there's no bigger sign than that, and went inside and bought a $5 broom handle.
• I went back to the casting studio, handed the assistant the broom handle and said, "Here, they're gonna need this inside." "Why?" he says. "Cuz I beat the hell outta the last one," I said and then I took off.
• That was a very Joe Lommel thing of me to do.
• Joe Lommel's a good guy.
• Joe Lommel's probably going to be jumping up and down yelling at the TV when that Bud Light commercial comes on now, too.
• Ketchup noodles getting a little boring? Spice them up with a dollop of horseradish sauce! Be careful, a little goes a long way!
• Breaking news: there's going to be a Die Hard 4. I know a guy who's in it.
• Sometimes, when I write my blog, I get deja vu. Which means either I think about updating my blog more than I actually do, or I have begun to repeat myself.
• I will share a dirty secret with you: if you are paranoid and go to extra pains to call customer service to put your order in on the phone so your credit card doesn't go over the internet, chances are the customer service person on the other end of the line is processing your order... over the internet.
• They may not tell you that while they have you on the line.
• Last Saturday I ran a truly awful session of D&D where most of the evening was spent rolling up a character, gossiping about tv shows, walking through puke, and fighting a zombie and a ratman.
• The characters in the game walked through puke, not me. It was a trap.
• Some of my ideas are not publishable.

And now, for your celebrity sightings: Larry Drake helps coach one of the acting classes I'm taking. He's a nice guy. He's big.

Also, on the plane back from Nashville I saw this guy who was clearly a famous actor. He was also on his way back to Burbank. I couldn't figure out who he was, but he spent most of his time on his cell phone. People were deliberately moving over to his section of the waiting area to eavesdrop or be close to him. I thought that was a little weird, but that's TVQ for you.

I got home later and saw he's Agent Mahone from Prison Break. He's skinny.

-Tom, who apologizes for the hiatus. Luckily, I got my blog back up in time for sweeps!