Return of the Ukrainian Landlord

It's been a while since I've had an installment of The Little Details. Let me take a break from blathering about TV shows to get you caught up on the things you really care about -- i.e., my personal life.

In no particular order:

• They say traffic is awful and the pedestrian is King in California, but in the past month I've nearly been killed in my car once, but nearly run over while walking across the street twice. If I had a bicycle, I could give you a complete sampling.
• Most of June in California is delightful. You expect it to be roasting, but in fact the haze ironically called "June Gloom" keeps the temperatures down in the morning and makes for lovely weather.
• "June Gloom" is now over and The Sweltering^TM has begun. I have decided to run my air conditioner and live more like a 21st century urbanite and less like some hairy-knuckled guy from the 50s who works at 1-hour Martinizing.
• I went to Portland ten days ago and shot a commercial for the fine folks at Vonage. They were very nice.
• If you go to a party and start telling someone a story about the summer before your senior year of college when you invented the Tom Lommel DeathWatch, it's going to be patently obvious that the story does not play out as the title would lead you to believe.
• That doesn't mean they don't expect to hear about someone else dying.
• It's okay to use a little creative license and kill off the tow truck driver. Chances are he won't find out about it.
• I don't like ignorant, selfish people. (As opposed to highly educated, selfish people like myself.) I discovered this shortly after discovering that sometimes TV shows pay people to sit in the audience.
• After a one year hiatus, I signed up for an improv class. I start Improv 101 July 1st at UCB. I did this instead of buying a Nintendo Wii.
• Despite my 5+ years of training and performing, I'm going to try to be enthusiastic and attentive about taking an introductory improv class.
• I am a clothes horse. Fully two-thirds of my closet contains clothes I have not worn in six months. And I have a big closet.
• If you know what I mean.
• DEAR INTERNET: Last week I had two hot ladies in my bed!!!
• And I slept on the couch. But it was a good excuse to clean the apartment.
• If you're going to drive the scenic PCH (Pacific Coast Highway) north from Santa Monica, do not be fooled by the "Scenic Coastal Drive" signs planted all over Oxnard. They are no more truthful than the "Tourist Info" signs which will lead you straight into an insurance salesman's office.
• That last part, that is 100% true.
• Don't pretend you're not a nice guy if you are a nice guy. Yes, sometimes you can be a jackass by being too nice, but that's not what most people think you mean when you tell them you're actually a jackass who only seems nice. I'm a nice guy. A little self-involved (kiss me internet blog, kiss me!) but a nice guy nonetheless.
• I have an aunt in Missouri. I need to write her.
• I have two aunts in Ivanhoe, Minnesota, and I sent them their birthday cards a full month late. They may be the last two people on the planet who don't have email.
• That's no excuse!
• If you let wimmin-folk stay in your apartment, they will leave your fridge mined with wine coolers and half-empty soda bottles. Plus, you'll have to unpack your coffee maker. Beware the wimmin-folk! They are your beverage nemesis!
• Nemeses?
• Me and my buddies watched the first two episodes of Band of Brothers. That show is intense!
• Don't bring up anything at the end of any acting class ever. Seriously. We all want to go home. Or go get a drink.
• Sometimes the more interesting person in a given conversation is not the one who is talking, but the one who is not talking.
• Knocked Up is not better than The 40-Year Old Virgin, it's just different.
• I should have volunteered for the LA Film Festival this year. I worked a few days last year and it was an interesting experience.
• I had a birthday last month. I bought myself some miniatures for my D&D game, had dinner and played video games with my buddy Pete and then later that week went and had ANOTHER dinner with my buddy Brad. (Birthdays are about eating, really.) Plus Brad and I went and saw Hot Fuzz.
• Hot Fuzz is not a different Shaun of the Dead, it's just not as good.
• MySpace has become LiveJournal, only with more ads and stupid annoying music tracks. Bulletins? Messaging? No one pays attention to that crap.

Finally, for those of you waiting for the big celebrity sightings: Last night I was at a party with Kari Matchett, Rockmond Dunbar, and Dabney Coleman.

I was more excited about the fact that the woman who developed Smallville was there.

-Tom, who finds that ironic, since he's never seen Smallville.