Special LIVE Blog -- THE PLUMBER!

Last week I made a maintenance request with my building manager. The hot water tap on my sink has been leaking since before Christmas. Luckily, I found out that it goes away if I just twist the shut-off valve under the sink.

Of course, that also means I have to turn the water back on any time I want to use the tap.

The landlord called on Friday and an appointment has been set up for sometime between NOON and 4pm today. I will be LIVE-BLOGGING this important event THROUGHOUT THE DAY. Check back in for regular updates...

9:35am The plumber could be here as early as 11:30. (Call me optimistic, but I like to be prepared.) I went to bed last night with the aches and sniffles. Do I have time to run to Target and get some cold medicine?? I DECIDE TO CHANCE IT!

10:41am I'm back at the hacienda (How's THAT for being "a little LA-ified"?) and fortunately there's no sign of any surreptitious plumbing that was done in my absence. I decide to take this opportunity to make some hot tea because WHO KNOWS WHEN I WILL HAVE WATER AGAIN?

11:07am The hot water tap is right above the dish rack in the sink. As a preparatory measure, I REMOVE THE DISH RACK so the plumber can get right to work! Is this the work of someone relentlessly practical or hopelessly optimistic? As the guy who impulsively bought condoms during his earlier visit to Target -- despite having no immediate need for them -- I THINK THE DECISION SPEAKS FOR ITSELF!

11:40am I am certainly chancing it here -- noon is rapidly approaching -- but I decide to have lunch. Oh sure, my turkey-and-cheese masterpiece may be interrupted by the untimely arrival of a certain maintenance worker, BUT I AM A RISK-TAKER! FEAR ME, OH PALLID MISTRESS NAMED CAUTION, FOR MY AMBITIONS ARE FEATHERS AND MY COURAGE IS WAX! STEADFASTLY I SHALL WELD THEM TOGETHER AND FLY FREE ON THE WINGS OF ICARUS!!

11:47am You put a little salsa on your turkey-and-cheese, that makes a pretty good sandwich.

11:49am The plumber could be here ANY time! They said "Between noon and 4"... noon is only 11 minutes away.

11:56am Did I mention that this tap has been leaking for over a month? It's important to get it fixed... four minutes and counting!

NOON! I always forget if noon is AM or PM. Anyway, no sign of the plumber. Anti-climactic!

12:07pm Hmph. I mean... seven minutes late isn't such a big deal. I'm regularly seven minutes late, if not more... Looks like this guy is going to be "more."

12:20pm Now that I think about it, it's not even an "immediate" use for them. That sort of implies this place is, like, booty central. Maybe "no foreseeable use" is more accurate... Yeah.

12:29pm I HEAR FOOTSTEPS! A DOOR OPENING!! IT'S... my neighbor lady going to check on her laundry. Disappointment, you are a two-headed monster that bites at both ends!

12:55pm I really hope this isn't going to turn out to be one of those cable company "noon-4pm's." I can't stick around here until 9 o'clock tonight.

1:03pm You know what I should have bought? I should have bought some elbow macaroni. Now THAT I have an immediate use for.

1:04pm Get your mind out of the gutter.

1:13pm This guy is going to wish he had budgeted a little more time, I'm having an issue with the temperature of my hot water as well. Or, to be more precise, I'm having an issue with the temperature of my warm water.

1:20pm The phone rings! HE'S HERE! I buzz him in.

1:22pm Oscar is an affable man with a crisp grey jacket and a prodigious soul patch. He thinks he can fix my tap. The problem with the hot water... well, the neighbors have complained as well, so if I add my complaint to the pile, maybe the management will put in a new hot water heater. "It's like the government," he says. Mind you, this is the same government that brought us Hurricane Katrina, the Iraq War, and water-boarding.

1:23pm Oscar goes out to the truck to get his tools. But first, we have a five-minute conversation about the parking meter I have sitting next to the door. "It's already an antique!" he says, "Look at the prices!" It's true -- you're not going to get 12 minutes for a penny anywhere in L.A.

1:30pm Oscar's initial efforts falter when he can't get the cap off the tap. He needs to get more tools from the truck. On his way out, we have a 7 minute conversation about my dreams of becoming a series regular, his dreams of starting his own plumbing company, and the likelihood that the studios are going to start outsourcing the writers' jobs to India and China. "And do you know WHY that will happen?" he says conspiratorially, "Because THE GOVERNMENT let them do it." In the improbable event that does in fact happen, he will have a point.

1:44pm Oscar gets the cap off and has a strange question: "You don't have to be any place do you?" Uhhhh.... Well, actually I have to be down in Santa Monica in an hour and a half. This is a Bad Thing^TM. The faucet I have is a different model than the parts he has with him. So he has to go out and buy the right ones. That trip alone will take an hour and a half. I don't have the heart to mention that if he had been here closer to noon, it wouldn't have been an issue. But, I can't miss my appointment so...

1:48pm My plumbing woes remain unresolved. Oscar departs for his next stop, assuring me that the maintenance coordinator will call to reschedule. Hopefully, they don't operate TOO much like the government.

TO BE CONTINUED!!!

-Tom, off to buy some elbow macaroni and take his cold meds.