Drainage

Pluck them, use them, throw them away like a stack of disposable tissues, they are... The Little Details.

• Hey, I was sick this week. That was pretty awesome.
• My definition of awesome: laying in bed and sweating.
• Actually, that's not a bad definition of awesome, but it's the runny nose and aches that take the bloom off the rose.
• Although the "being alone and miserable" part was also a good contraindication.
• YEAH! CONTRAINDICATION LOOK IT UP!
• Tom Lommel: Improving your vocabulary one episode of The Little Details at a time.
• Actually I just looked it up and I may not have used it properly after all.
• But if you looked it up too, now YOU know. WIN-WIN!
• Don't say I never did anything for you.
• And with that, the vocabulary section of The Little Details comes to a close.
• Relax, relax. I'm totally unqualified to include a math portion.
• Hey, you know what's great about getting sick while the media is obsessing over a global flu pandemic? -You get to question your mortality.
• Nothing stokes the fires of a self-absorbed neurotic more than staring your own death in the face.
• In fact, it's probably what got me through this whole thing.
• Irony, defined.
• It was a very calm, matter-of-fact process. No hysterical "OMG! I HAVE THE SWINE FLU!!! I'M GONNA DIE!" type of stuff. More like, "Hmmm... I should make a to-do list."
• Did you think cleaning my apartment was at the top of that to-do list? It should be, but it's not.
• Dude, when you succumb to a global pandemic, you get a free pass on that stack of mail on your dining room table.
• Apparently there's been a global flu pandemic on its way for the past 3 years.
• The CDC really needs to set up a branch office in my apartment. I am PRESCIENT.
• Really? I didn't think it was that- Really? Okay, FINE.
• Man, I need smarter friends.
• In retrospect, I didn't so much MAKE a to-do list, as I THOUGHT about making a to-do list. I got as far as "I should tell my parents to get Pete to look through my computer" and that was it. I didn't even write it down.
• Pete, if I kick off (swine flu or otherwise) you get to look through my computer. Enjoy.
• Whew. That's taken care of. COME AND KILL ME CALIFORNIA, YOU GLORIOUS, FICKLE BASTARD!
• (Footnote: Last week - earthquake. No shit! Suck it Los Angeles, I'm still here!)
• Most of my days this week were spent sleeping or crashed out on the couch watching a movie.
• SUPER BLOG INSTA-QUIZ! Which of these movies is NOT a good choice to watch when you fall ill during the midst of a global flu pandemic. (Pick one):
  1. Stripes
  2. Die Hard
  3. 12 Monkeys
• That's right, 2.) Die Hard. The picture quality on that DVD transfer is atrocious.
• Did you pick 12 Monkeys? Because that has the best acting and most interesting plot/set design of all three of them. It's the only one that won't put you to sleep.
• Although lots of sleep was needed. I was trying to recover as fast as possible because I had a showcase on Tuesday and Wednesday.
• Schedule for the week:
  1. Sunday: Sore throat and general agony
  2. Monday: Sinus congestion and face own mortality
  3. Tuesday: Try not to die/infect anyone else at showcase. Also - be hilarious.
  4. Wednesday: Perform second night of showcase, either as real self or plague-bearing brain-craving zombie self
  5. Thursday: Write jackass blog about items 1-4.
• That kind of gets you up to speed.
• One of the ladies in the showcase invented a new verb: "lommeled." As in:
  • "I just got lommeled!"
  • "He lommeled me!
  • "I can't, I'm being lommeled!"
  • "You lommeled the shit out of that!"
• There's no link to that one, you're going to have work up a context on your own.
• No, that's not the definition that originally inspired the phrase, but I like your thinking.
• Obviously: I'm feeling better.

-Tom, who would like to thank Zicam for all the help in getting him through the week.

SUPER BLOG BONUS PICTURE
Apart from (hopefully) making my network television debut later this week. I'd like you all to know that I am writing, directing, and starring in a major motion picture, based on the exciting real-life events surrounding my illness this week.

Look for me in...

The answer, of course, is The Tomedian.

HEY-O!!!