Ad Takedown: EXTREME DATING EDITION!
I get a lot of ads for online dating. I mean A LOT of ads. Maybe the universe is trying to tell me something.
If so, the universe really needs to refine its message.
The Direct Pitch
There's something to be said for truth in advertising.
There's also something to be said for subtlety.
What the AD Says
What the FACE Says
What the CLEAVAGE Says
The Marketing Guys Call It "Aspirational"
Hey there, young denizen of the internet! Wouldn't you like to meet some LIKE-MINDED singles? And by "like-minded" we mean two models who got paid $1500 a week to do simulated soft-core on Cinemax and the trainer from your local gym! So whether you like your ladies slutty, slutty with highlights, or freshly-waxed and packing a penis, we have a LIKE-MINDED single match for you! NINETY PERCENT of our matches end up in a LONG-TERM relationship! ...with the physician's assistant at their local clinic.
What the AD Says
What the FACE Says
What the CLEAVAGE Says
A Call To Action
Quit being her FRIEND and start being her creepy uncle who keeps a soldering gun, a meth cooker, and an illicit stash of erotica from Weimar-era Berlin in his basement. One day they will make a movie about you! A movie you will watch from jail.
What the AD Says
What the FACE Says
What the CLEAVAGE Says
And Finally...
Keep looking, pal.
Have you considered a shot with more cleavage?
-Tom, who's off to find some like-minded singles.
Comments
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I prefer mind-melded singles.
# Posted By Krunk's Next Victim
| 9/25/09 10:04 AM
I am a happily married 63 year old woman and I get LOTS of those adds too! There is a delete key on my computer. Go for it!
# Posted By LaVonne Lommel
| 9/26/09 10:22 AM
I think we need a follow-up piece showing us what singles ads should look like if they intend to attract the interest of someone like you.
# Posted By DumpTruckof Love
| 9/29/09 8:05 AM
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