Take Control of Your Life


Just a quick update on the career front: my episode of Eagleheart is now available online. It's a small -- but super fun -- costar part. I won't ruin it for you by posting a screenshot.

You can catch the relevant clip right here.

This show definitely has a dry, twisted sense of humor and I hope Adult Swim brings it back for another season. It was a blast to work on.

-Tom, who probably should have warned you.

Nerd Exsanguination

or, "How Zack Snyder Drained The Enjoyment Out of Every Geeky Thing I Love."

You know how we all have that voice in the back of our head that tells us when we're about to do something stupid, like take up freerunning or order the chicken alfredo or go to that keg party down in the granite quarry?

Well that voice was screaming at me, "DON'T GO SEE SUCKER PUNCH."

I didn't listen, even after I read some less-than-enthusiastic reviews and despite the fact that, unlike 90% of my nerd brethren, I hated "300".

I kept coming back to that trailer: Hot chicks with guns kick ass against clockwork soldiers and red dragons fighting B-52 bombers! How badly could you screw THAT up??

Bad enough to make me blog about it a week later.

Let's break it down, element by element.

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The Insider's Secret to BOOKING THE JOB!

Hello, adoring public. I apologize for the long hiatus, but Tom Lommel has been busy, busy busy! It's called PILOT SEASON people! And last week I auditioned for a NATIONAL COMMERCIAL. (Keep your fingers crossed! KA-CHING!)

Nonetheless, people on the Twitter have been NAGGING me for acting advice, saying TOM LOMMEL, HOW DO YOU DO IT?

So, I said to myself, TOM, how *do* you do it?

And I sat down.

And I thought for a moment.

And I had two fingers of Knob Creek.

And I wrote it down.

FOR YOU.

FOR FREE.

Yes, people, I have a seven step process that I GUARANTEE will get you that BIG HOLLYWOOD GIG and help you tickle your toes up the DIAMOND-ENCRUSTED LADDER to FAME!

The SECRET to BOOKING the job is B.O.O.K.I.N.G. THE JOB!

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Perfect Job

Last night NBC aired the episode I shot of Perfect Couples.

As I mentioned back in the fall, it was a real treat to work on this, and I had a great time on set.

You can catch the episode here on Hulu. (I appear late in the show, but you really can't appreciate the context if you fast forward.)

I hope you enjoy watching it as much as I enjoyed working on it.

-Tom, who thinking of changing his name to Prince Awkward.

Chapter Three: The Secret

She wasn't some unearthly Valkyrie, descended from the heavens to snatch my heart from the battlefield and deliver it to an Asgardian hall filled with other geeks readying themselves for the coming Nerdpocalypse.

But she was willing to go on a date with me.

In fact, she wanted to go on a second date.

The Amanda Story, Chapter Three.

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Chapter Two: The List

We met online.

Her name was Amanda.

Only her name wasn't Amanda, and we hadn't actually met yet.

This is the day that changes.

The Amanda Story, Chapter Two.

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The Amanda Story

Six months ago I signed up for online dating.

Today is Valentine's Day.

Let me tell you how that worked out.

...A story in three chapters.

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Real With Character

This week marks my fifth year in LA.

I've had my successes and my disappointments, but overall it's been an interesting journey -- partly because I don't know what I'll be doing from day-to-day, or for that matter, hour-to-hour.

To give you an example, here are some actual breakdowns from the past five years for various roles I've auditioned for.

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The New Zodiac

I don't know if you're aware, but ancient people were really terrible at a lot of things. (Earth? Flat? Helllllooo, have you hiked Fryman Canyon?) But one of the things they were especially terrible at was calendars. The Mayans goofed it up so bad that next year we have to have an Apocalypse.

But more importantly, Time.com recently reported that the Zodiac calendar is off. And not just by a couple minutes so you can fool your sleepy brain into getting out of bed a little bit earlier, like up to a MONTH off.

Apparently the ancient astrozoologicagraphers failed to account for wobbles in the rotation of the earth, and now, a couple hundred years later, the Zodialogical calendar is way off.

Fortunately, thanks to SCIENCE, we can correct for this miscalculation.

Following is a list of the NEW dates for the Zodiax signs, along with a reading for the New Year. (FYI, according to these new calculations, the New Year doesn't start for three more weeks, so you still have time to get your nieces and nephews something nice for the holidays.)

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Silent Movies: Eat Pray Love

New Year's Eve, 2010.

My flight's been delayed 40 minutes, the air is thick with the grumbles of holiday impatience, and as we taxi up to the de-icing station the captain tells us the tanker trucks are low on fluid and they might just drive off and leave us there for 20 minutes.

By the time we get airborne, I resign myself to the inescapable clutches of Delta Airlines. Really, what more can they do to me, their tired, beaten-down captive on this, the last night of 2010?


Well, they can run Eat Pray Love as the in-flight movie, that's what.

I watch it with the sound off.

What follows is a reconstruction of what happens when "a married woman realizes how unhappy her marriage really is, and that her life needs to go in a different direction" -- with the sound off.

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