The Little Details - LA: The Lifestyle

I Am Not Buried Under A Pile Of Rubble

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 12:27:00 -0500

The Apocalypse keeps trying to get me, but I just keep on runnin'! We had a 5.6 earthquake out here but I am happy to report no damage to me or my possessions. I am unhappy to report that I did suffer a neckstrain overnight that required me to skip jury duty and go to UrgentCare this morning, so look forward to an episode of The Little Details filtered through the blurry haze of muscle relaxants. -Tom, whose odd-ball collection of Ral Partha miniatures survived relatively unscathed.

Once Again - I Am Not On Fire

Mon, 02 Jun 2008 08:56:00 -0500

For those of you concerned (i.e. you two readers in Wisconsin and both of my random internet stalker fans) I am happy to report that despite the fire at Universal Studios I am safe, sound, and glib as ever. Other than the stink of burnt plastic that started wafting through my window yesterday morning, I was unaffected. Although now I have no idea how I am going to generate the 1.21 gigawatts I need to get back to my proper time. -Tom, off to rustle up a beer can and some banana peels for his prototype Mr. Fusion.

A Hypothetical

Wed, 14 May 2008 13:12:00 -0500

Join me, if you will, on a journey of imagination... Let's say (hypothetically) that you were going to Las Vegas for the weekend, because it was your buddy's bachelor party. [More]

Do You Sing Like Olive Oyl On Purpose?

Tue, 26 Feb 2008 07:57:00 -0500

In a weird harmonic convergence of fate, I went out and sang karaoke not once but TWICE last week. Here's what I learned: [More]

Eight Degrees

Fri, 15 Feb 2008 08:19:00 -0500

This is one time of the year where I really, truly enjoy living in Southern California. The other day I was listening to Minnesota Public Radio over the internet and Gary Eichen comes on and says "Now for a noon-time check of our weather: it's eight degrees..." And with my twisted Minnesotan sensibilities I actually thought, Well... That's not bad. Until he finished the sentence by saying "BELOW ZERO." [More]

Plumbing LIVE Blog Part II: RECKONING DAY!

Thu, 31 Jan 2008 14:52:00 -0500

You know the situation: For months the drip, drip, drip of the kitchen sink has eaten away at your sanity, building layer upon layer of scaly guilt on your eco-friendly conscience. Then, in the very HEART of California's dark winter (It was fifty-two yesterday, people! FIFTY-TWO!!) the hot water began to slowly fail until, like a quickie wedding in Vegas, its steamy embrace dimmed to a tepid trickle. TODAY is the day we conquer BOTH of those problems, people!! For I have heard the CLARION CALL from Norma the maintenance coordinator! SHE has HEARD the cries of her tenants, GAZED upon the tear-stained pages of their work requests, and SENT FORTH HER SERVANTS TO RIGHT THIS INJUSTICE! TODAY IS THE DAY OF KITCHEN SINK FAUCET REPLACEMENT AND HOT WATER HEATER INSTALLATION!!! Join me as I live blog the precious details of this momentous event. [More]

MARK YOUR CALENDAR NOW

Wed, 30 Jan 2008 16:54:00 -0500

SPECIAL UPDATE! My sink fix has been rescheduled for tomorrow morning between 8am and noon! In the aftermath of Monday's momentous LIVE BLOG, both Edwards and Giuliani dropped out of the race! Stay tuned tomorrow when my kitchen faucet AND the hot water heater for the building will be replaced! Is this the desperate fix our troubled economy needs?? TUNE IN TOMORROW TO FIND OUT!! -TOM, ALL CAPS!! ALL THE TIME!!!! EXCLAMATION POINT!!

Special LIVE Blog -- THE PLUMBER!

Mon, 28 Jan 2008 13:48:00 -0500

Last week I made a maintenance request with my building manager. The hot water tap on my sink has been leaking since before Christmas. Luckily, I found out that it goes away if I just twist the shut-off valve under the sink. Of course, that also means I have to turn the water back on any time I want to use the tap. The landlord called on Friday and an appointment has been set up for sometime between NOON and 4pm today. I will be LIVE-BLOGGING this important event THROUGHOUT THE DAY. Check back in for regular updates... [More]

I'm Rooting For You!

Mon, 17 Dec 2007 13:33:00 -0500

Although the natives wince every time you say it, everyone here really is from someplace else. If you want proof, just drive around between Christmas and New Year's and the 405 will suddenly feel four lanes too wide. Couple a large expatriate population with the lack of a local football team and you get a result I never anticipated. Something liberating. Something empowering. Something joyous. You get to cheer for whoever you want. [More]

I Am Not On Fire

Tue, 23 Oct 2007 19:39:00 -0500

...although looking at the sooty zeppelins of smoke billowing overhead, it sort of feels like I'm in Hell. In fact, it's possible I am in Hell and just didn't notice. Let's run down the list: [More]

Giddy Up

Mon, 08 Oct 2007 20:42:00 -0500

This weekend my buddy Josh from Minneapolis celebrated his first birthday here in California and, like all good birthdarians, he got to choose the location of his celebration. He chose the Saddle Ranch Chop House on Sunset Blvd (beware of an ear-pounding assault of Def Lepard when clicking that link.) It was ...interesting. [More]

Ima Git U Druunk

Thu, 04 Oct 2007 13:25:00 -0500

A friend of mine hooked me up with a gig doing some catering work. Now that I'm back to just being a pre-service celebrity, a fella needs to make some extra cash now and then. I got the opportunity to tend bar at a wedding reception in the Hollywood Hills. Here's what I learned: [More]

Here's What Happened

Wed, 18 Apr 2007 08:54:00 -0500

So, two weeks and a half weeks ago, when I was shooting that commercial over on the Universal lot, I witnessed the Apocalypse: [More]

Sunday Reading

Sun, 25 Mar 2007 14:38:00 -0500

I'm a Patton Oswalt fan. Check out his True-Life Tale of Guns and Yoga in the NY Times. Indirectly, I think he sums up some of the weird dichotomy that is L.A. -Tom, who's probably just enamored of his fanciful flights of metaphor. And by 'enamored' I mean: jealous.

Things You Learn In 372 Days

Thu, 08 Mar 2007 21:08:00 -0500

Uprooting your entire life and moving it to another coast teaches you a few things - both about yourself and your new hometown.

Let's review them in a semi-random, self-important manner, shall we?

[More]